By Special Request: The Bullshit Song

Now I know a lot of readers are thinking Billy Jones hates the arts and that's the reason I've been against a downtown Greensboro Performing Arts Center since day one but nothing is farther from the truth. Fact is: folks who have known me for a very long time knew me for my four octave singing voice and my unusual song lyrics sung in bars and clubs all over Greensboro before a well known local gastrointestinal doctor with a drinking problem prescribed not only the wrong medication but an overdose of the wrong medication that permanently robbed me of me singing voice and nearly cost me my life when I blacked out while driving a tractor-trailer on Interstate 26 just South of Columbia, South Carolina. Should I name names or just let every gastrointestinal specialist in Greensboro suffer a loss in business?

Anyway, since it's Friday and all I thought I'd share the lyrics to one of the songs I wrote and used to sing here in Greensboro. I wish I had a recording of it but any recordings I might have ever had were on cassette tape and are long gone. If anyone has a recording of it and would like to put it online then please do so and send me the link at RecycleBill@gmail.com and I'll happily link back to your recording of my song.

If Money Grew On Trees
by Billy Jones

Daddy and I traveled and we saw quite a lot.
Saw people who had plenty and people who had not
but the damnedest thing I ever seen, the dumbest of them all
was a man selling bullshit at the downtown mall.

Daddy, he just looked at him, he wasn't quick to talk.
He looked at me and he said, "Son, you'd better take a walk."
Then he turned to face the man, that's when I heard him say,
"Maybe come tomorrow but I'll not buy today."

"If money grew on trees you'd pick it when it's green.
You're about the dumbest man that I have ever seen.
If it fell down to the ground you'd probably let it rot.
That's why some folks have plenty and others, they have not."

The man said, "Sir, I understand, now why you feel this way
but at least 200 people bought my bullshit today
and if you'll stop and thing a bit I'm sure you will agree
that I am not the one who's dumb, you're just to blind to see."

"If money grew on trees you'd pick it when it's green.
You're about the dumbest man, Sir, I have ever seen.
If it fell down to the ground you'd probably let it rot.
That's why some folks have plenty and others, they have not."

Daddy, he sells bullshit now, we're really doing well.
Momma, she just looks at him, she thinks he'll go to hell.
He just looks at her and laughs. I guess he's done it all.
He'll really selling cow shit, the bullshit's at the mall.

If money grew on trees you'd pick it when it's green.
You're about the dumbest folks that I have ever seen.
If it fell down to the ground I'm sure you'd let it rot.
That's why some folks have plenty and others, they have not.

If money grew on trees you'd pick it when it's green.

Happy Friday, Greensboro. And the next time Mayor Robme Perkins calls you a troll just sing a few lines of the bullshit song and laugh all the way to the polls. If money grew on trees you'd pick it when it's green.