"A powerful strain of fact-resistant elected officials are threatening the ability of Greensboro, North Carolina to economically sustain consistent well paying job growth, a sobering new study reports.
The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of politicoes who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists and Greensboro's electorate at a loss as to how to combat them.
“These elected executives appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”
Scientists have determined campaign cash from profiteers and the quest for continued reelection prevent the fact-resistant City Council members from absorbing data, along with compromised City staff and a jaded press, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.
While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said."
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans
